Recently a mother wrote me to ask my opinion about her daughter who wants to pursue a musical career. This has worried her mom, understandably, from a practical viewpoint. And the daughter, as well, is not sure if this is what she ought to do or just what she wants to do. How important is it?
"She's been having such a struggle, Emile, with deciding about her future. She really wants to study music when she goes to college, as it's always been her dream, but is afraid that may just be a dream, and not the real thing."
Ok, listen. I have a strong opinion about this, and - remember - this is my opinion, everyone has one, but in my case this is the RIGHT opinion.
So here goes:
Look, there is a very simple way to resolve this dilemma. Here's the short version:
Follow your heart and the rest will work itself out. Or won't. But you will still have been true to yourself.
Ok, easier said than done? Well, here's the much, much longer version:
If you be totally and unswervingly, unforgivingly, completely honest with yourself, then I am willing to bet - there is only ONE factor that is making this a problem, and that is, "Can I make a living at this?" In other words, the problem is money. Well, guess what! Money is always the problem, for everyone except Donald Trump. And for many people, money is a problem AND they are not loving their jobs.
Now follow this: Are you willing to be sometines starving, but doing what you want? Are you willing to have odd jobs as a waitress, or a cashier just to make ends meet so you can do your acting when it comes up? If you truly want to be an actress, there is always a way. You just have to be willing to starve a little, take all sorts of other work, etc.
AND THAT IS NOT BAD NEWS!!
Look around you. Start asking adults you know if their entire careers were happy and carefree. I am willing to bet that 90% of them will have horror stories to tell. That's just how life can be. Doesn't HAVE to be - you may very well be enchanted (I am not being sarcastic, I mean it) and have a charmed life. But for most people, ups and downs are a part of growing, learning, finding out what they really want.
You are one of the few fortunate ones who know already what you want to do with your life. That gives you a head start on most everyone, because you can devote your life in college to aquiring all the skills and knowledge you need, instead of trying out this course and that to see whether you can spend a lifetime doing it!!
Listen, I am not telling you that you must do one thing or another, I am telling you it is not a hard decision. It really isn't.
Look, if YOUR GOAL IS TO MAKE A LOT OF MONEY IN LIFE - and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that goal - then you should look at all the various options, career wise, that are likely to produce that result. You talk to counselors, friends, people you know, find out what's out there. Then it is the trial and error of finding out - of those options - what you are really gifted at, or what you would be willing to do for the next 40 years.
If, on the other hand, the very thought of doing something other than your dream of playing music makes you feel depressed and "accepting" of your fate, well then... you really have no choice. You MUST follow your dream.
THE ONLY FACTOR WILL BE ARE YOU LOOKING FOR MONEY, OR ARE YOU TRYING TO FULFILL YOUR HEART'S DESIRE FIRST AND MAKE MONEY SECOND.
Have you any idea how many people tell me every week, just how lucky they think I am to be doing something I really love. Most people have a vocation or a job which they enjoy, or they meet nice people, or they just can't wait till the weekend. They cannot wait to retire.
I, on the other hand, can't wait to do a concert on my hundredth birthday. You get what I mean.
Not only that, but going into an occupation because statistics show that this or that will be easier to get a job just out of college, does not guarantee success. See, success does not depend on the field you are in, but rather, is it the field that you want to be in. You can make money at anything if you really get creative. Some occupations are just more suited to making money in the market place than are others.
I, myself , spent many years living from day to day not knowing how I would pay the rent. I solved that by working as a house painter, a framer with a construction co., a janitor, whatever I could do - I didn't have any clerical skills, so my options were something I could do with minimal training. Also, I would much rather work hands-on - like carpentry, than in an office. There is ALWAYS something you can do. ALWAYS. Waiting tables is not at all bad. And the money can be fantastic. If that's what let's you follow your dream, then that is a gift, not a burden.
So good luck with your soul-searching. There is no right answer. But there is an honest answer, and that is the one you want.
